Dear Sisters,
I spent the last two days at the "Do What Love Requires" 2015 Arizona Marian Conference. There were the usual number of outstanding speakers among which was Christine Watkins. Christine had been an atheist, militantly anti-christian and later looked for meaning in life through the New Age.
She lived a deeply immoral life. Her choices had led her to be diagnosed with terminal cervical cancer. She had lost her hair, was bleeding internally and was scarecrow thin. She was in terrible pain and it seemed that her life would end in her twenties. One day a Catholic friend visiting her was praying intently over her. She felt a strong feminine presence and she heard a loud "pop". Her eyes flew open and she asked her friend what had happened to her. He told her that Mother Mary had taken pity on her and had asked her Son to cure her, which He had done.
The deeper more profound and eternal healing that took place, was that Our Lord allowed her to see the condition of her soul. She had always considered herself a good person, but the Lord showed her that being nice and living a moral life were two completely different things. Christine was filled with remorse and called out for forgiveness from the depths of her soul. She sobbed out her regrets on her knees. A beautiful music sounded in her room. She opened a window, but the sound wasn't coming from outside. The room didn't have a clock radio and she didn't have a phone in the room. It was then that she was given to understand that the music was coming from heaven as the Lord and all the angels and saints were rejoicing that she a sinner had repented. They had given her a glimpse to the joy that was being felt in heaven because she, the prodigal, had been embraced by the Lord in His Awesome MERCY!
I find that God, who is a GENIUS, always has a way of tying these kinds of lessons with a bow for me. I've been spending the last couple of weeks reading The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri J.M. Nouwen. I picked up the book this evening, still profoundly moved by all that I had experienced at the conference and read these words, "Celebration belongs to God's Kingdom. God not only offers forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing, but wants to lift up these gifts as a source of joy for all who witness them. In all three of the parables which Jesus tells to explain why he eats with sinners, God rejoices and invites others to rejoice with him. 'Rejoice with me,' the shepherd says, "I have found my sheep that was lost.' 'Rejoice with me,' the woman says, 'I have found the drachma I lost.' 'Rejoice with me,' the father says, 'this son of mine was lost and is found.' All these voices are the voices of God. God does not want to keep his joy to himself. He wants everyone to share in it. God's joy is the joy of his angels and his saints; it is the joy of all who belong to the Kingdom."
There you have it my friends. The words spoken by Christine Watkins and the words of Henri Nouwen, all tied up in a beautiful LOVE bow.
With God's grace I hope to look into my own darkened soul and offer the greatest healer of all my bad habits, sins of omission and the sins that I commit due to family sins. I too want so much to be 'found'. And maybe, in some little corner of heaven, beautiful music will sound as this sinner repents!
Look deeply into your soul sisters, let's give God the JOY of being our savior! I will meet you at the confession line.
Love to all!
Prayer Warrior
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Sunday, August 9, 2015
Thy Will Be Done
Dear Sisters,
Thursday, August 6 started out like any other day. I woke up, had breakfast, took a shower and started the list of chores that I had designated for the day. My husband had gotten up very early to participate in a 5:00 AM telephone conference. By 10:00 AM he lay down for a nap and I had decided to take a peek at my email since it was a quiet activity.
A phone call came in just as he started to fall asleep and I ran to pick up the phone, but it was too late. He had heard the ring and I could hear his frustration at having been awakened so quickly from his much needed nap. The words "B is missing", spoken by my elder daughter put me in a state of utter confusion. "What do you mean she's missing?" B's manager at the firm where they both work had called to see if L knew why B hadn't shown up at work that day.
It was 10:00 AM! "Did you call her phone?" I asked. "Yes! She's not answering. Mom should I go see if she's at the townhouse? Her roommate isn't answering her phone either." But, L was on a deadline and besides, I could hear the fear in her voice.
P and I prayed together right there in the kitchen. It was the very first thing we did. We turned to our God, to our Father and put our fear and our love into the short heartfelt prayer.
A quick look at the ADOT website showed that the traffic in the direction that she would have gone was moving smoothly. No accidents had been reported. Not wanting to waste any time, I decided to drive to the townhouse to see if she was there.
Your mind goes through so many scenarios in just a few minutes of time. A kaleidoscope of calamities ran through my head. I didn't know what I would be walking into. I turned to the only thing that made any sense at that moment...prayer.
God himself gave me the grace to say to Him from the depths of my heart, "Thy will be done!" I asked Mary to be with her. I prayed to her Guardian Angel. And I told God that if she was already with Him, that I would need the strength to accept it.
At 10:15 AM a call came from my husband over the Bluetooth in the car. "I have her. She overslept. She can't imagine how she could have slept that long, but apparently she must have turned off her phone alarm and kept on sleeping."
I lived a lifetime in that 15 minutes and died a thousand deaths.
God was with me through every heart-wrenching second of time, He never left me, He never wavered. He carried me through the fear to true faith. The old saying that there are no atheists in a fox hole is something that I could attest to.
I am so grateful that at this moment in time, all is well with my world. My children are healthy and safe. My husband is a rock of strength and God is my fortress.
Dear Father,
Thank you for every moment with my family.
When they were young and living with me I would lay in bed filled with gratitude that they were under my roof.
I am not with them all the time now, but you are.
Thank you dearest God for allowing me to parent my children.
Thank you sweet Lord for the love we have as a family.
And as they walk their journey of life, please guide and protect them every step of the way.
Lord please keep away all evil influences of drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and unworthy companions. I humbly ask that you send them virtuous and worthy companions. I pray for their souls.
Jesus I trust in you!
Amen!
Thursday, August 6 started out like any other day. I woke up, had breakfast, took a shower and started the list of chores that I had designated for the day. My husband had gotten up very early to participate in a 5:00 AM telephone conference. By 10:00 AM he lay down for a nap and I had decided to take a peek at my email since it was a quiet activity.
A phone call came in just as he started to fall asleep and I ran to pick up the phone, but it was too late. He had heard the ring and I could hear his frustration at having been awakened so quickly from his much needed nap. The words "B is missing", spoken by my elder daughter put me in a state of utter confusion. "What do you mean she's missing?" B's manager at the firm where they both work had called to see if L knew why B hadn't shown up at work that day.
It was 10:00 AM! "Did you call her phone?" I asked. "Yes! She's not answering. Mom should I go see if she's at the townhouse? Her roommate isn't answering her phone either." But, L was on a deadline and besides, I could hear the fear in her voice.
P and I prayed together right there in the kitchen. It was the very first thing we did. We turned to our God, to our Father and put our fear and our love into the short heartfelt prayer.
A quick look at the ADOT website showed that the traffic in the direction that she would have gone was moving smoothly. No accidents had been reported. Not wanting to waste any time, I decided to drive to the townhouse to see if she was there.
Your mind goes through so many scenarios in just a few minutes of time. A kaleidoscope of calamities ran through my head. I didn't know what I would be walking into. I turned to the only thing that made any sense at that moment...prayer.
God himself gave me the grace to say to Him from the depths of my heart, "Thy will be done!" I asked Mary to be with her. I prayed to her Guardian Angel. And I told God that if she was already with Him, that I would need the strength to accept it.
At 10:15 AM a call came from my husband over the Bluetooth in the car. "I have her. She overslept. She can't imagine how she could have slept that long, but apparently she must have turned off her phone alarm and kept on sleeping."
I lived a lifetime in that 15 minutes and died a thousand deaths.
God was with me through every heart-wrenching second of time, He never left me, He never wavered. He carried me through the fear to true faith. The old saying that there are no atheists in a fox hole is something that I could attest to.
I am so grateful that at this moment in time, all is well with my world. My children are healthy and safe. My husband is a rock of strength and God is my fortress.
Dear Father,
Thank you for every moment with my family.
When they were young and living with me I would lay in bed filled with gratitude that they were under my roof.
I am not with them all the time now, but you are.
Thank you dearest God for allowing me to parent my children.
Thank you sweet Lord for the love we have as a family.
And as they walk their journey of life, please guide and protect them every step of the way.
Lord please keep away all evil influences of drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and unworthy companions. I humbly ask that you send them virtuous and worthy companions. I pray for their souls.
Jesus I trust in you!
Amen!
Monday, June 29, 2015
DREAMS
Dear Sisters,
I experienced an extremely vivid dream this morning.
I was in a shop. The shop had lovely things and beautiful displays. I was dressed in a long dress and it was obvious that I was pregnant. The shopkeeper wore a tall pointy hat, and was dressed in a heavy linen jacket and pants tucked into laced up boots. He wore a tied short scarf around his neck. His clerks were 3 young women with long hair also in long dresses.
A commotion in the street just outside the shop startled all of us. The shopkeeper immediately went to shutter the front doors and a clerk and I went to the back of the shop to secure a heavy wooden door with a large lock. A face appeared in the wide crack between the door and the stone wall. There was no acknowledgment at all in the man's eyes that we were part of the human race. His face was cold, his stare seemed to go right through us. I screamed in terror as he reached his hand in through the crack to try and prevent us from locking the door. At the last second the lock snapped into place and we ran back up the stairs into the shop.
The shopkeeper had opened a series of heavy doors leading down a long tunnel. He planned to send us through and then face the maddened crowd when they eventually broke into the shop. We begged him to come with us. Who would lead us where we needed to go? He looked back into the shop and with a sigh of resignation entered the tunnel, carefully sealing the doors behind us. 4 heavy doors in close proximity closed behind us. Before us there were 3 more doors each spaced about 10 ft apart. As before the shopkeeper sealed the doors carefully as he rushed us through. Finally we came down into a hollowed out cave. A narrow path next to a moving creek led toward an opening where we could see trees and shrubs. The shopkeeper bade us to "hurry, hurry" as we made our way carefully through the dark to the light. I put my hand protectively on the precious mound that was perceptible at this phase of the pregnancy and pushed on,
Our group climbed up an embankment, each helping the others, our shopkeeper sometimes in front of us and at other times giving us hushed instructions from behind. He knew exactly where to go as he led us to a large compound enclosed by tall stone walls. The guards at the gate recognized the shopkeeper and let our weary group through. For the first time we were able to take deep breaths. We were seized by trembling as our bodies released some of the adrenaline from the terror of the flight.
The shopkeeper had an audience with a personage of some stature. He seemed to me to be a wealthy man. The shopkeeper urged him to come with us as we searched for a safe harbor. He shook his head regretfully and looked at each of us sadly, but with determination. We were to leave the walled safety and keep moving away from the coming madness. The shopkeeper embraced the wealthy man and it struck me that their relationship was a familial one. I would have said a father and son relationship except for the fact that they were close in ages.
We were ushered up into a wagon pulled by two huge horses. In the wagon were provisions for the journey. I could see the wealthy man standing on a balcony as he watched us leave. The concern for our safety was written clearly on his face. I turned my head to the road ahead, put my hand on the resting babe within me and said a prayer.
Interpretation:
The shop with the lovely shiny things was a representation of the church with it's stained glass windows, lovely candles, gold ornamentation and statuary. The shopkeeper was a priest. The other ladies, represented all women; with their strength, loyalty and can-do attitude. My pregnancy is representative of every christian that is pregnant with the love and truth of Christ. We carry Him with us everywhere and we nurture His presence within us, clearly showing the world the evidence of our devotion.
The crowd outside the shop represented society. They are outside the church, but they want to come in, not to love and adore the King of Kings, but to destroy all the Church offers and witnesses to. The man at the back door crack was a representative of those that see no humanity in a fetus, a person in a coma or an elderly person in need. The blank stare is cold and dead, not understanding that every moment of life is precious. The sacrament of marriage too was being sought for destruction and the priest knew that eventually the church would be breached and we needed to flee. Note that the other lady and I that went to close and lock the door had to go down to the street level but we climbed back up into the church. Let us always climb up!
I am not sure what the heavy doors represented, but I have a sense that they were pillars of our church; the communion of saints, the sacraments, the catechism, and the like. The doors kept us safe from those that would harm us. The fear I felt wasn't only physical, but existential as we passed through the darkness. My soul was at stake. The dark is the times that are coming soon. Our Church is sure to be persecuted and we'll have a difficult time seeing our way through the awful gloom.
The priest had a willingness to stay behind and sacrifice himself for our safety and to do what he could for the deadened society. We pleaded for the priest to come with us, because he had knowledge of the journey and we needed his guidance so much. We urged him to move ahead of us and show us the way as we hurried along. We needed him to lead, not just to whisper from behind.
The house the priest led us to was the bishop's stronghold. The bishop provided what he could for our journey, giving us provisions-the sacraments and sacramentals that we needed to keep going. He loved the priest and gave him his blessing to continue with us. He stayed behind, because his duty is to try with all his strength to preach the truth; the truth about life and the truth about marriage. God's truth. The crowd just wanted to destroy. They not only will not accept the truths taught by the Church, they want the Church's utter destruction.
The wagon represents groups like Endow that give us the shelter and the means to escape the madness. The women of course represented the feminine genius and spiritual motherhood that the world is so in need of. As a woman brought sin into the world, another more perfect woman with her obedience righted that sin by giving an unqualified yes to God. The women in the wagon represented women everywhere who are charged with bringing society back to God and to his church.
Sisters, a heavy burden has been placed on us by Almighty God. He expects us to teach truth to our children and all of society is ours in our spiritual motherhood. He expects us to live truth. To be a counter-culture of love in a society torn by hate. He expects us to say YES to him every moment of every day.
Let's get on the wagon and arm in arm, with Jesus within us, witness His truth to the world!
Your sister in Christ,
Prayer Warrior
I experienced an extremely vivid dream this morning.
I was in a shop. The shop had lovely things and beautiful displays. I was dressed in a long dress and it was obvious that I was pregnant. The shopkeeper wore a tall pointy hat, and was dressed in a heavy linen jacket and pants tucked into laced up boots. He wore a tied short scarf around his neck. His clerks were 3 young women with long hair also in long dresses.
A commotion in the street just outside the shop startled all of us. The shopkeeper immediately went to shutter the front doors and a clerk and I went to the back of the shop to secure a heavy wooden door with a large lock. A face appeared in the wide crack between the door and the stone wall. There was no acknowledgment at all in the man's eyes that we were part of the human race. His face was cold, his stare seemed to go right through us. I screamed in terror as he reached his hand in through the crack to try and prevent us from locking the door. At the last second the lock snapped into place and we ran back up the stairs into the shop.
The shopkeeper had opened a series of heavy doors leading down a long tunnel. He planned to send us through and then face the maddened crowd when they eventually broke into the shop. We begged him to come with us. Who would lead us where we needed to go? He looked back into the shop and with a sigh of resignation entered the tunnel, carefully sealing the doors behind us. 4 heavy doors in close proximity closed behind us. Before us there were 3 more doors each spaced about 10 ft apart. As before the shopkeeper sealed the doors carefully as he rushed us through. Finally we came down into a hollowed out cave. A narrow path next to a moving creek led toward an opening where we could see trees and shrubs. The shopkeeper bade us to "hurry, hurry" as we made our way carefully through the dark to the light. I put my hand protectively on the precious mound that was perceptible at this phase of the pregnancy and pushed on,
Our group climbed up an embankment, each helping the others, our shopkeeper sometimes in front of us and at other times giving us hushed instructions from behind. He knew exactly where to go as he led us to a large compound enclosed by tall stone walls. The guards at the gate recognized the shopkeeper and let our weary group through. For the first time we were able to take deep breaths. We were seized by trembling as our bodies released some of the adrenaline from the terror of the flight.
The shopkeeper had an audience with a personage of some stature. He seemed to me to be a wealthy man. The shopkeeper urged him to come with us as we searched for a safe harbor. He shook his head regretfully and looked at each of us sadly, but with determination. We were to leave the walled safety and keep moving away from the coming madness. The shopkeeper embraced the wealthy man and it struck me that their relationship was a familial one. I would have said a father and son relationship except for the fact that they were close in ages.
We were ushered up into a wagon pulled by two huge horses. In the wagon were provisions for the journey. I could see the wealthy man standing on a balcony as he watched us leave. The concern for our safety was written clearly on his face. I turned my head to the road ahead, put my hand on the resting babe within me and said a prayer.
Interpretation:
The shop with the lovely shiny things was a representation of the church with it's stained glass windows, lovely candles, gold ornamentation and statuary. The shopkeeper was a priest. The other ladies, represented all women; with their strength, loyalty and can-do attitude. My pregnancy is representative of every christian that is pregnant with the love and truth of Christ. We carry Him with us everywhere and we nurture His presence within us, clearly showing the world the evidence of our devotion.
The crowd outside the shop represented society. They are outside the church, but they want to come in, not to love and adore the King of Kings, but to destroy all the Church offers and witnesses to. The man at the back door crack was a representative of those that see no humanity in a fetus, a person in a coma or an elderly person in need. The blank stare is cold and dead, not understanding that every moment of life is precious. The sacrament of marriage too was being sought for destruction and the priest knew that eventually the church would be breached and we needed to flee. Note that the other lady and I that went to close and lock the door had to go down to the street level but we climbed back up into the church. Let us always climb up!
I am not sure what the heavy doors represented, but I have a sense that they were pillars of our church; the communion of saints, the sacraments, the catechism, and the like. The doors kept us safe from those that would harm us. The fear I felt wasn't only physical, but existential as we passed through the darkness. My soul was at stake. The dark is the times that are coming soon. Our Church is sure to be persecuted and we'll have a difficult time seeing our way through the awful gloom.
The priest had a willingness to stay behind and sacrifice himself for our safety and to do what he could for the deadened society. We pleaded for the priest to come with us, because he had knowledge of the journey and we needed his guidance so much. We urged him to move ahead of us and show us the way as we hurried along. We needed him to lead, not just to whisper from behind.
The house the priest led us to was the bishop's stronghold. The bishop provided what he could for our journey, giving us provisions-the sacraments and sacramentals that we needed to keep going. He loved the priest and gave him his blessing to continue with us. He stayed behind, because his duty is to try with all his strength to preach the truth; the truth about life and the truth about marriage. God's truth. The crowd just wanted to destroy. They not only will not accept the truths taught by the Church, they want the Church's utter destruction.
The wagon represents groups like Endow that give us the shelter and the means to escape the madness. The women of course represented the feminine genius and spiritual motherhood that the world is so in need of. As a woman brought sin into the world, another more perfect woman with her obedience righted that sin by giving an unqualified yes to God. The women in the wagon represented women everywhere who are charged with bringing society back to God and to his church.
Sisters, a heavy burden has been placed on us by Almighty God. He expects us to teach truth to our children and all of society is ours in our spiritual motherhood. He expects us to live truth. To be a counter-culture of love in a society torn by hate. He expects us to say YES to him every moment of every day.
Let's get on the wagon and arm in arm, with Jesus within us, witness His truth to the world!
Your sister in Christ,
Prayer Warrior
Sunday, June 21, 2015
LOVE
Dear Sisters,
I'm back! I've been in a desert of anxiety for over a year. Finally I feel myself start to relax and allow the Holy Spirit to work in me and through me. My words have been dry as I wrestled with the outrageous demands of my job.
I felt completely hollowed out. The anxiety didn't allow for words to be written, but only felt deeply; too deeply to ever be brought out to the surface. When I am the most hurt, that is when I am the most quiet. If I am raging and expressing my frustration, anger or hurt, that is a sign that while wounded, I am not helpless in the pain. When I go silent however the hurt is so deep, so vast, so dark that there are no words to describe the pain that I'm drowning in. That was the hurt I was in this past year.
I learned that through it all, I had friends who sustained me.
I learned that Jesus carried me in his arms and shielded me.
I learned that when one hurts on that level, it is hard to keep your feet moving and even harder to keep the words flowing.
I learned that I am still capable of love in that dark place because the author of love carried me tenderly in His arms.
I learned that my family centers me.
I learned that I am very strong, but not as strong as I thought I was.
I learned that even though my words were silent, my soul was soaking up the experience to use for the good of others.
Thank you dear sisters for praying for me and being there for me throughout my struggle. No doubt God has given us to each other as a gift for these times in our lives.
God lives!
Let us rejoice and be glad!
Your sister in Christ,
Prayer Warrior
I'm back! I've been in a desert of anxiety for over a year. Finally I feel myself start to relax and allow the Holy Spirit to work in me and through me. My words have been dry as I wrestled with the outrageous demands of my job.
I felt completely hollowed out. The anxiety didn't allow for words to be written, but only felt deeply; too deeply to ever be brought out to the surface. When I am the most hurt, that is when I am the most quiet. If I am raging and expressing my frustration, anger or hurt, that is a sign that while wounded, I am not helpless in the pain. When I go silent however the hurt is so deep, so vast, so dark that there are no words to describe the pain that I'm drowning in. That was the hurt I was in this past year.
I learned that through it all, I had friends who sustained me.
I learned that Jesus carried me in his arms and shielded me.
I learned that when one hurts on that level, it is hard to keep your feet moving and even harder to keep the words flowing.
I learned that I am still capable of love in that dark place because the author of love carried me tenderly in His arms.
I learned that my family centers me.
I learned that I am very strong, but not as strong as I thought I was.
I learned that even though my words were silent, my soul was soaking up the experience to use for the good of others.
Thank you dear sisters for praying for me and being there for me throughout my struggle. No doubt God has given us to each other as a gift for these times in our lives.
God lives!
Let us rejoice and be glad!
Your sister in Christ,
Prayer Warrior
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