Total Consecration

Dear Sisters,

A couple of years back, my dear husband and I started the Total Consecration to Jesus Christ through Mary in the way of Louis De Montfort.  Mid way through we lost steam and didn't finish.  I've been feeling such a need to be born again in Mary's spiritual womb, that I've decided to start the journey again.  What a great way to get ready for lent!  So today, I began my journey through Mary to Jesus once more.

It is no mistake that the first 12 days are spent on ridding oneself of the 'spirit of the age'.  We are infected with the world's ideas, norms, images and stilted morality.  I like so many of you suffered through years of secular poison infiltrating my being.  It has taken a lot of prayer and study to learn the lessons that all saints seem to understand; that the path to peace is through and with Jesus.  I yearn to become a slave for the Lord.  One that does his will and doesn't worry about 'the world'.  Of course I get sucked back in through media, work problems, my children and my own disordered desires.  At this crucial juncture in time and space, I think we all sense the dangerous path that our society and our government have chosen.  As we run counter to the current tide of religious intolerance, false morality and the dictatorship of relativism, sometimes we feel like we're salmon swimming upstream.  Thank God for all of you to help me cut through the tide of filth to the shores of beauty.

Here is the scripture on which today's meditation is based:
Sacrifice of Body and Mind.1^* I urge you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship.^a2Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.^b

Here is St. Louis De Monfort Meditation:

St. Louis de Montfort                                                                                             SM:#3

Chosen soul, living image of God and redeemed by the precious blood of Jesus Christ, God wants you to be holy like him in this life, and glorious like him in the next.. It is certain that growth in holiness is you vocation. All your thoughts, words, and actions, everything you suffer or undertake must lead you to that end. Otherwise, you are resisting God in not doing the work for which he created you and for which even now he is keeping you in being. What a marvelous transformation is possible! Dust into light, uncleanness into purity, sinfulness into holiness, creature into Creator, man into God! A marvelous work, I repeat, so difficult in itself, even impossible for a mere creature to bring about, for only God can accomplish it by giving his grace abundantly and in an extraordinary manner. The very creation of the universe is not as great an achievement as this.

Every line makes me pause "Chosen soul"... Oh how those words make me tremble.  I am a chosen soul. Chosen by God himself to do His work.  Made in the image and likeness of the Lord himself...that's me.  Why do I forget that so often?  And how precious am I, that I am redeemed by the most precious blood of Jesus Christ.  I savor the words "it is certain that growth in holiness is your vocation".  Can it be? Can my vocation be to grow in holiness?  What a wondrous vocation! I have been resisting God and I have long put off the work for which he created me.  

Dear Lord,
I am yours.  I am the clay and you are the potter.  There is nothing I can make of myself that you can't make better.  Take me and form me Lord.  That I may do your work, mirror your love to others and become who you created me to be.  I feel you preparing me to receive you more fully and it scares me a little, but if your sweet mother would walk this path with me, I will not feel afraid.
AMEN!

“Religion is actually not a crutch; it is a cross. It is not an escape, it is a burden; not a flight, but a response. We speak here of a religion with teeth in it, the wind that demands self-sacrifice and surrender. One leans on a crutch, but a cross rests on us. It takes a hero to embrace a cross.” Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

from Dottir of God

Martha, Martha...

Reflections on Luke 10:38-42

Dear Sisters,

Today as I ponder the morning readings in Magnificat, it occurred to me that Martha's other name could be 'Action'.

Travel with me as we see Martha wiping her hands on an old piece of cloth tied around her waist.  She greets Jesus as he approaches the door and bids him to enter.  You can see her bustling around as she accommodates all of her guests.  Already her mind is on offering washing water for their feet and cool water to drink.  She is mentally tabulating the offerings in her larder and deciding what she needs to prepare.  Her mind is full of what needs to be done...done...done.

In the midst of the frantic activity her guests have whirled her into, she looks around to see that she is alone in her tasks.  "Where on earth is Mary?" she wonders, irritation clearly written on her face.  "Doesn't the girl realize all that must be done?  It has ever been this way with Mary.  Head in the clouds!"

Martha, her hands and wrists deep in dough shifts her stance in order to see into the other room.  "Where can she be?"  All the bodies surrounded Jesus, make it hard for Martha to make out Mary's whereabouts.  Where Mary wasn't, was where she ought to be....according to Martha.

Suddenly some of the others shift a bit and Martha finally sees Mary.  And where is she? Sitting, SITTING, mind you at Jesus' feet with a goofy adoring look on her face.  Here I am...as per usual... carrying the lion's share of the work while the child (I can't think of her as any other way) is SITTING! Hmph!!

Now ladies, there isn't one of us that hasn't felt exactly like Martha; put upon, overworked, irritated by the thoughtlessness of others and victimized by the circumstances.

Watch with me as Martha crisply wipes her hands and marches, yes, I believe she marched out of the kitchen area.  I think too that the apostles gave her a wide berth when they saw the blood in her eye, so that she had a clear path to Jesus and Mary.

Mary, at the feet of Our Lord is blissfully unaware of the tempest about to descend.  Her heart is so full and her soul has been lifted by golden wings by the words of The Master.  She can but stare lovingly into the face of this amazing man.  His voice so pure, His words speak to her of eternal things.  She is sitting at his feet, because it is the only place in the world that she can possibly be.

Into this peaceful tableau whirls hurricane Martha.  "Lord! (I added the exclamation point) do you not care that my sister has left me by myself (again!) to do the serving?" The accusation, imposed into the peaceful setting, stops all movement.

Jesus looks lovingly at this woman who he knows well and says, " Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things.  There is need of only one thing.  Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.

Jesus can easily read Martha's hit parade of worries.  Everything from offering 'proper' hospitality as defined by the norms of that time to hoping that the refreshments are up to snuff,  obsessing over whether the house is presentable enough and on and on and on.  Can you just see the hamster in the wheel in Martha's head rolling along with all these random thoughts, and worries?  Squeak, squeak, squeak goes the wheel, causing complete distraction.  In a brain so full already, there was no room at all for what Jesus was sharing with all the others.  Martha was present, yes, but she wasn't present in the moment.

I am Martha.  This reading today is a direct conversation from Our Lord to me.  How hard is it for me to just sit and pray!?  I rarely give myself permission to do this.  Read,...sure. Walk and do the rosary,...yes. Clean as I listen to Catholic Radio,...no problem.  Iron as I watch EWTN, ...yep.  But sit quietly and just 'be'?  Why is that so difficult?

Today I feel Jesus is giving me permission to just BE.  He is telling me to be present to Him.  He is reminding me that I do not have 'the better part'. And He is convicting me of His great love despite it all.  He's waiting for me in the ever present moment...and in this moment I leap into his arms, sit quietly at his feet, and let Him love me.

May Our adorable Lord grant all my sisters quiet moments to just BE.

With love,
His little broken pencil...

The Lord Is My Shepherd

Dear Sisters,

Currently I am reading I'm Not Being Fed: Discovering the Food That Satisfies the Soul by Jeff Cavins.

The book recounts beautifully Jeff's reversion to the Catholic Faith.  In moving language and minute detail for which this bible scholar is known, Cavins points out all the many reasons that the 2nd largest religious denomination in the United States is ex-Catholics.  As the Catholics leave The Church to be 'fed' elsewhere, they become like sheep wandering in the desert.  Some fall into deep pits where they perish, some lose their way and are devoured by animals, some wander around and around in the same circular paths without ever finding the restful pastures or still waters that they are seeking.

Cavins points to Psalm 23 as a sort of road map of our lives when we follow the Good Shepard who is Our Lord Jesus.  I found his insights so moving and I decided to explore in my own life the ways that I have followed and how I have strayed from the path the Good Shepard has laid before me.

Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd there is nothing I lack.

How true that when I have allowed God to be my shepherd, I lacked nothing.  I think of the times we spend in the home of Only 1 Holy Spirit for our Endow or book studies.  Sometimes it has been an effort to leave a problem, concern, irritation, or undone task behind as I concentrate on just BEING with each of you.  Opening myself to the Spirit and putting everything behind has indeed been a time when I have lacked for nothing.  My cup has been full to the brim.  So too in my life.  When I've put the Lord first, no matter how arduous a task to do so, I have been rewarded with complete serenity and peace.  These precious opening words written by King David more than 3000 years ago I resolve to keep close to my heart.  The Lord is My Shepherd there is Nothing I lack.

In green pastures you let me graze; to safe waters you lead me; you restore my strength.

Waves of serenity lap over me as I meditate on these words.  I am filled with a vision of a bucolic scene of intense green grass, a pond of still water and Our Lord at one time guarding me from danger and taking joy in seeing me so filled with calm and peace.  In this pasture, I allow Jesus to have my back.  I allow Him to guide me.  I allow Him to show me the way.  I eat where He says I should and the food feeds me unto eternal life.  I drink deeply of the still waters and find that my thirst is slaked for the first time in my life.  Tears run down my face as I let the Good Shepherd lead me where He knows I must go to be safe, and fed.  What freedom to just let go and let God!

You guide me along the right path for the sake of your name.

Every generation needs to resolve anew to follow the Good Shepherd onto the right path.  Our church in America took a turn into the wilderness, leaving us exposed to the wolves, hyenas and bears.  But like the wonderful shepherd He is, Jesus has not allowed us to wander forever.  He has called each of us in our group to come to Him.  He knows our names and He called us back to him.  He has sent us worthy shepherds (Jeff Cavins, Scott Hahn, Mother Angelica, 'Mitch', JPII, Benedict XVI, Francis, Bishop Olmsted etc) to lead the way along the right path for the 'sake of His name.'  Think ladies how much our perspective of the world around us has changed since allowing us to be guided.  Every relationship in my life has been renewed.  Guide me all the days of my life Lord!!

Even when I walk through a dark valley, I fear no harm for you are at my side; your rod and staff give me courage.

How true this is!  The world is very dark indeed.  Cavins points out in the book that every Christian denomination or non-denominational church is following a heresy from the first 4 centuries of Christianity.  All these old heresies have found new names, but are the same recycled ideas of old. A dark valley indeed.  I think of my very nice 'hippie' neighbors from across the street.  They are into Reiki.  A quick prayer to St. Michael for protection and I'm ready to interact in charity with them.  They a sweet couple, but because they don't follow the Good Shepherd, they've wondered off into a very dark world.  I wish them rest in the Lord.

You set a table before me as my enemies watch; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Cavins points out the obvious reference to the Sacrament of the Eucharist in these lines from the Psalm.  How true it is ladies that the table is set for us even in this hostile world.  The table has been set even by false shepherds within the church. Our Lord has found a way to be with us always, and it doesn't depend on the inner disposition of the shepherd at the altar, but by His grace alone.  We have received the anointing, the sign of his approval and welcome into His family.  My cup does indeed overflow as I contemplate the Lord's Mercy to us in this beautiful sacrament.  May our church always set the table and invite all to partake of the Lord's Mercy.

Only goodness and love will pursue me all the days of my life; I will dwell in the house of the Lord for years to come.

Oh Good Shepherd how wondrous you are!  I pray for all my family members and friends that don't understand the goodness and love that God offers.  To know that by following the Good Shepherd I will dwell in his house is so humbling.  I don't deserve it.  I'm just a silly sheep.  I've wandered far away at times.  I have heard Him call and not answered.  I have hurt Him with my disobedience and yet, because He is Good, He has comes after me and has tenderly carried me home.  Goodness and Love I wish for all of you, dear sisters, all the days of your life and when those lives are over, may we find each other in the home of our Father.

Love and Peace!!

Man of Blessing

Dear Sisters,

Lately I have read a biography of St. Benedict by Carmen Acevedo Butcher.  This beautifully written account of the holy man credited with the monastic movement was filled with wonderful accounts of miracles, love of Christ and of neighbor and a simplicity in life that I can't help but envy. 

St. Benedict started nearly every day at 2 a.m. and by 5 a.m. he had already spent 3 hours in communal prayer and the recitation of psalms known as the Divine Office.  It's an ironic fact that this architect of communal life who wrote a rule still used in monasteries today spent years first as a hermit before seeking out the company of others.  Once out of the confines of his solitary cave, this holy man started a movement that expanded exponentially throughout his life and still exists to modern times.

The father of monasticism was born in Nursia in 480 AD, the son of a Roman nobleman.  Tradition holds that he had a twin, St. Scholastica.  The foundational years for this young Roman were violent ones in his country with a number of armies and leaders invading, each causing death and destruction in their wake.  Personal stories of St. Benedict exist through the efforts of Pope Gregory the Great, who wrote about Benedict extensively.  Gregory in fact points out that "Benedict helped others achieve peace in the minutiae of ordinary life." 

This notion which resembles greatly 'The Little Way" of St. Therese who we will be studying more in-depth during the summer seems to be a recurrent theme with some of the holiest of our saints.  It appears that the love of Christ so permeated their lives, that every small action, gesture, conversation, desire and moment became an opportunity for living in God.

In his little cave in Subiaco, "Benedict came to understand in his every molecular cell, step, and breath that hours, days, and minutes do not belong to the human race."  This sense of our need to give our time to God is another common theme among our saints.  "Benedict's rule teaches that the only true way to yield to time is by praising God and praying for others."  Several times a day the Benedictines honor and praise God by stopping their work and simply worshiping Him who is all for all.

The book brings to life this brother of ours in faith in a way that I as a reader, felt that I had gained another good friend in my journey to the heavenly Jerusalem.  It reminds me of our riches in the Church and how good God has been to give us so many holy examples to follow.  The worlds that these mean and women lived in had their own challenges and evils. 

As we journey through our own period of time, let us realize that the evils we see so manifest in our society are the recycled ills that befell all the human race when Adam and Eve disobeyed Our Lord in the garden and have been plaguing mankind since that time. 

I have seen traditional marriage going the way of abortion, euthanasia and so many other gifts from our God that were meant for our good but now are used for evil.  Let us remember that we can appeal to these real people in heaven who 'have our backs' and will help us to navigate the turbulent waters of society and time.  Some day others will come after us who will also live in the light and will look around in bewilderment at the darkness crouched at their door.  Let's hope we are in a place where we can help them with our prayers as we now look to the prayers of our brothers and sisters in heaven.

Peace, Sisters

Take My Heart Lord

Dear Sisters,

I am currently reading Sr. Faustina's Diary.  Sometimes when I am reading something the saints have written, I feel a real pang of sweet pain for the love they have for our Lord.  It reminds me that I have a long way to go.

In Sr. Faustina's Diary (No. 57), she says "Oh, if I could only cut my heart into tiny pieces and in this way offer to You, O Jesus each piece as a heart whole and entire to make up in part for the hearts that do not love You!"

Imagine, each tiny piece of her heart a whole and complete loving heart to offer the Lord to make up for so many that don't give Jesus any part of their hearts.  This lovely thought struck so powerfully that it kept coming up at odd times to remind me to love Jesus in every moment as well as I can.

Today as the Eucharist was being distributed, it occurred to me that Jesus too cuts himself into tiny pieces so that each of us can have all of him 'body, blood, soul and divinity' in each and every host.

This reminds me that as we come to know and love Jesus more, we become more like Him and so it flows naturally and beautifully that we want to do for Him what He already does for us.

My nature is to 'do-do-do'.  At work I am pulled in dozens of directions.  I give of myself to my husband, my children, my family, my friends, my co-workers, the families I serve...but all?  Not usually.  I give some of my attention, some of my strength, some of my kindness, some of my love.  Instead of cutting myself into WHOLE tiny pieces and giving all to each endeavor, I cut myself into
selfish little pieces and tell myself that it is enough. 

Imagine if Jesus did that?  Instead of offering himself wholly and completely on the cross, imagine if he held some of himself back?  We would be right back where we started in the Garden, following the snake instead of our Father.

So today, I ask Jesus to grant me the grace to be 'all in'.  Not to do as Dusty Springfield
suggests and only give 'a little piece of my heart', but to do as Sr. Faustina suggests and give all to all and in that way imitate He who is Love.

Wishing you all peace on this beautiful Sunday!

03/09 weekend retreat at the Redemptorist Center Tucson with Kristi, Maria, Belinda, Terri and Ellen